Relationship repair is one of the top things I do with couples in my NYC-based sex and relationship coaching practice.  But they usually don’t realize that’s what they’re in for when they first reach out to me!  A lot of couples reach out because they’ve lost their sexual connection and are looking to get it back.  What they don’t realize is that resentment in their romantic relationship is likely one of the main causes of their low sexual desire. 

At its core, intimacy is about closeness: a deep emotional connection that makes people feel known and accepted by each other.  Intimacy isn’t just limited to romantic and/or sexual connections.  Intimacy is what allows all types of social and personal relationships to thrive through trust, empathy, and vulnerability.  In healthy relationships, intimacy is what forms the foundation for communication, safety, and long-term fulfillment.  Without it, partners may feel disconnected internally, even if everything looks fine on the surface. So it’s super important to understand the different types of intimacy and how to cultivate them in a romantic relationship.

Facilitating inner child healing is a huge part of my work as a somatic sex and relationship coach.  I realize this may surprise you.  You may be thinking of inner child work as some kind of psychobabble that you’ve heard about on social media rather than something that actually has the capacity to change your love life. 

Intimacy is such a broad term, and it can mean different things to different people.  As a somatic sex and relationship coach, people often ask me how to rekindle intimacy in long-term relationships.  My first questions back to them are always, “What kind of intimacy?  Emotional intimacy?  Physical intimacy?  Both?”.  (Hint: it’s usually both). 

Spoiler alert: you’re angry.  Sadness lives underneath anger.  Many people find sadness to be more socially acceptable than anger, so they choose to live in the sadness instead.  But that doesn’t mean the anger went away.  Irritability is a product of suppressed anger that is boiling up to the surface and releasing itself in little snaps here and there.  You can be grateful for your life overall and still have unprocessed anger underneath. It’s in there.